OverlordCarlen

And so, the Life Update series continues.
Hello everyone... I hope you are all doing well.

Despite the unexpected and tragic losses I've had in the past week and the coronavirus epidemic going around, life for me has been pretty easy-going... not exactly the way I want it to, but still better than how it was before. Thankfully I have not contracted coronavirus, but it's better to be safe than sorry, especially since I have a weak immune system.

Anyways, with that out of the way, I have some news for all of you... quite a bit of news, actually.

To start off, I got into both of my college courses I applied for! My only issue is, since I want to pursue a career in both art/animation and music, I need to choose one class or another. Not sure if it's different in other places in the world, but here in Canada (or Ontario, rather), you can only enter one course out of all the other courses you applied to, and so I'm going over to main campus on the 9th to talk to an advisor, and hopefully we can both decide on which course would benefit me more, or get me more career options. God, how I love being indecisive, haha.

Second off, I got myself a psychologist and got retested for everything I was diagnosed with during both my childhood and adolescence. I very well still have GAD and - because Asperger's isn't even a term anymore - autism level 1; high-function autism if you will.
I also found out I have ADD, which honestly explains alot because my God, I forget things incredibly easily (especially when being spoken to), and it's why I have a hard time with talking. I forget what I say and when I try to put myself back on track, it ends up making zero sense. If you know me in real life, you gotta agree that my typing is more comprehensible than my speaking since I can go back and reread what I wrote, and then continue on without actually fucking up.

Third off, because of my rediagnosis of autism and my diagnosis of ADD, I'm holding off on searching for a second job. I'm also holding off until my psychologist and I tackle on issues I'm still reliving from past trauma, which has also prevented me from even WANTING to get a job in the first place. I mean, living with judgmental and emotionally / mentally abusive people as well as being bullied at a young age for being who you are and doing nothing about it for years can scar you, and it keeps you locked in until the problem surfaces in some way, and you end up building up the strength to actually get yourself into the real world. It's going to take time, however I would much rather be ready and prepared than go in and get myself fired from some place because of the way I handle things.

Lastly, Nana has been doing alright as of late! Her memory has declined even quicker than before, and she's starting to forget who I am sometimes, but physically and emotionally, she's been doing alright, and really that's all I care about.
I've been keeping myself busy with taking care of her, and the rest of the house, and it's the best feeling in the world... oddly enough I wouldn't have ever thought of doing this years ago, and yet, here I am.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for today.

I've been busy with commissions, work, and getting my life together as of late, and I gotta say that even though I've had quite a few nervous breakdowns a month ago, everything has really come together. My birthday is coming up in 9 days, and I'll be in Toronto from the 14th until the 15th with the love of my life. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for anything better, and I am absolutely, definitely, positively - as the cool kids would say - vibing.

All in all, I'm really looking forward to what's to come.
Thanks for reading, and for your concern / support. I really do hope to see you all soon, and I am very fortunate for all you have done for me in the past while.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you. ♥

Don't cross the streams.

All my loving,
Carlen

Hey all, and Happy New Year.

I know I said back in September that I was going to be gone for a month or two... as you can see, that wasn't the case.

I apologize deeply.

I also apologize for not responding to RPs and messages asking me to talk on here. I simply have no time for any of those things if you are expecting me to reply right away.

I got top surgery done at last on November 5th, 2019... been recovering for the past 2 months and I'm slowly, but surely, getting myself back on my feet... however, this isn't the true case.

Behind me feeling better physically about my life, life has still been getting the best of me.

I'm an adult now.
19 years old in less than 3 months, in fact.

My life has been busier than expected... searching for a job aside freelancing / commission work and babysitting my neighbour's kids before I go off to college - which I have also recently just applied for and am currently awaiting a response after February 1st, getting myself a proper psychologist, and I'm trying to be there for my Nana who had recently just reached the last stage of Alzheimer's disease. 

It's a hard and devastating time for all of us in my family, and I never expected myself to say anything along those lines, but it's life, and unfortunately my Nana is not going to get any better. In fact, I don't think she'll even make it to the end of this year.

I'm currently taking a break from social media, so I will be inactive on everything for the next while. I've been having suicidal thoughts again because of all the stress I'm going under, and though I am able to control them, it's still something I am taking into consideration... hence why I am also getting myself the help I need in order to better myself, and the way I cope with things. I think it'll be beneficial for when I start working too... my anxiety still cripples me, and I just about had enough of letting these things ruin my life.

I am making a true attempt at bettering myself, and it starts now.

I don't know when I'll be back full-swing, but I will still return in one way or another. Time will tell, I suppose, but real life is more important.

I have a mom, stepdad, Nana, and girlfriend to care for, and I will not let anyone, or anything, prevent me from holding off.

Thank you all so much for being there for me for the last few months. All was appreciated, and your continuous support means more than anything to me.

Do not worry about me either, for I promise you all that I WILL be okay. 

Also, for those who love Rush as much as I do... we've got this.
Neil would have been proud of all of us. ♥

Thanks again everyone, and until we meet again.

Love always,
Carlen

Hey all, long time no see.

I'm sorry for being distant / inactive with posting lately... alot had happened this summer and I had (and honestly still have) no time to really do anything.

My mom finally got married a week and a half ago (I was a groomsman for my stepdad and I had to help with planning and pretty much everything that happened on the 17th), I'm finally getting top surgery done on November 5th, and I'm currently out of school until September 2020. This means that I will have to take on responsibilities, plan on what I'm doing in the meantime (register for college so I can actually attend next year), and I won't be able to respond to any messages or comments consistently.

During this time, please bear with me and do not get angry at me for not responding right away to any form of message. I have a life that I need to live and contribute to, and I simply cannot help myself when things get too busy - especially at this time. It's getting to the point in which if I'm told that I'm being "too slow", I'll just not do anything all together.

Other than all that, I want to personally thank you all so much for sticking around, and I do hope to catch you all soon.

Stay gold, don't cross the streams, and all my loving to you.
- Carlen

Hey all, long time no see.

I'm sorry for being distant / inactive with posting lately... alot had happened this summer and I had (and honestly still have) no time to really do anything.

My mom finally got married a week and a half ago (I was a groomsman for my stepdad and I had to help with planning and pretty much everything that happened on the 17th), I'm finally getting top surgery done on November 5th, and I'm currently out of school until September 2020. This means that I will have to take on responsibilities, plan on what I'm doing in the meantime (register for college so I can actually attend next year), and I won't be able to respond to any messages or comments consistently.

During this time, please bear with me and do not get angry at me for not responding right away to any form of message. I have a life that I need to live and contribute to, and I simply cannot help myself when things get too busy - especially at this time. It's getting to the point in which if I'm told that I'm being "too slow", I'll just not do anything all together.

Other than all that, I want to personally thank you all so much for sticking around, and I do hope to catch you all soon.

Stay gold, don't cross the streams, and all my loving to you.
- Carlen

www.twitch.tv/overlordcarlen